Only Human

I can hold my breath

I can bite my tongue

I can stay away for days

If that's what you want

Be your number one

I can fake a smile

I can force a laugh

I can dance and play the part

If that's what you ask

Give you all I am

I can do it

But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

 

I'm only human

I'm only human

Just a little human

I can take so much

'Til I've had enough

'Cause I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

 

Really in love?

"And they say a war is a hard fight, they have obviously never been in love before. Because it is easy to heal a wound but not so easy when it is the heart. for you see a heart is a very tinder thing, and when its gets broken...even the strongest glue and thickest stitches cant keep its together. It can only be healed by a another"

Is a simple song

This is like my theme song and plus old school Miley <3

Wake up here I go
Cram it all down my throat
Stomach so full
That I wish I could choke
Seven am my heads
Already in a spin
As soon as
I'm out that door bam
Hits me like a ton
Of those red bricks
Can't dig myself
Out of this highest ditch
This madness
I swear sometimes
I can't tell which way is up
Which way is down
It's all up in my face
Need to push it away
Some body push it away
So all that I can hear
Is a simple song
Sing along now
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la

Mid day sun
Beatin' on the concrete
Burnin' up my feet
Too many cars on the street
The noise, the red, the green
It makes me wanna scream
5 o'clock knocks
Bumper on bumper on bumper
Horns honkin nobodys
Lookin' but everybody's talkin
It's another day on this highway
I swear sometimes
I can't tell which way is up
Which way is down it's
All up in my face
I need to push it away
Somebody push it away
Cause all I wanna hear
It's a simple song
Sing along now
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
Sing along now
Sing along

What I'd give to turn it off
Make it stop make it stop
Gotta make it stop
So all that I can hear
Is a simple song
Sing along now
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, da, da, da
La, da, da, la, la
La, da, da, da

carry it around

In life we get our heart broken all the time. But most of the time it can be put back together . But in rare cases it can be difficult for the bandage to stick. Then you end up like me...walking around with a broken heart. And it sucks, and i know most are going to say oh boo hoo your just a kid its probably over some guy, it kind of it but its also over something so much bigger then him.

As of right now...

I really feel like in stuck in a revolving door. I mean everything it good and wonderful one minute and then the next something bad happens. I've heard that this is normal, Like you cant have a perfect life but it also cant be completely terrible either. Life just has a way of balancing out. You will have finally made it to the top and then BAM your pushed half way back.

Right now i think I'm in the middle of being pushed back to midway and it really sucks...because things were just getting really good and i was really happy...not so much anymore.

16.

OHHH AND APRIL 16TH IS MY BIRTHDAY!  I'll be 16 and I'll probably wish for the one thing i do every year...

But...im only human

"Human"

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human


But I'm only human

                 

 

Behind

People who talk behind other peoples backs make me so mad!!!! I mean really you are that cowardly that you cant even say it to their face. You cant look them in the eye and say whats on your mind. It also goes for posting stuff online. Just go say it to their face. If your going to say something at least let them hear it. Its also wrong because they aren't around to defend themselves.

Be with the enemy?

So as you may know last year i was picked on really bad by this guy. Will yesterday he told me he liked me. He went thats why i was so mean to you. And i hope you wont tell anyone.

Well...i got really mad at him and said "Do you now how much you hurt me? Do you know i woke up everyday for a year praying to god i wouldnt have to see you? Do you know how much you made me feel like i was nothing? Like i was worthless, and better off dead! And now you tell me it was all because you liked me?? No. We are not happening, we will not be anything...EVER! Oh and i guess your so ashamed of it that you dont want anyone to know? HA no."

So....yeah....maybe i could have handled that a little better but he just made me so mad!! I mean really, If you like someone you dont treat them like dirt.

I mean its okay to pick at them but not to be that rude and mean!!

Plus: ....i like someone else :)

"She looks so perfect"

Because all I really want is you...

Someone

Sometimes all you really need is someone. Just one human being that understands. Someone that listens. Someone that cares.

It can be a boyfriend a girlfriend just a friend a mom a dad a sibling, ANYONE, you just need...someone.

to this

"It's going to be so hard.
Saying goodbye

to the sun
to the moon
and the stars

to the places
 i have been
to the places
i will never go

to the people
i have met
to the people
who's faces
i shale never see

to late nights
and early mornings
to Saturdays
and Sundays

to long talks
on the phone
at midnight

to all the things
moments
little pieces of life
where i was happy

But
it will be easy
to kiss goodbye
all the bad things

 to the sadness
that filled me
everyday

to the grief
that ate away
at every part of me

to the bad things i did
to the people that hurt me
to the people i hurt

to all the bad things
to every bad thing
that drove me

to pure insanity
to pure dread
to...this"


To this- ellie

Remember Cheyenne

I want to be known.
But not as the loser
but not as the weirdo
but not as the nobody

I want to be known
for who I am
for what i create
for how much i care

I want to be known
for the things
that make me
that make me unique

I want to be remembered
not as i was
sad
misunderstood
misused

I want to be remembered
as I should have been
Happy
loved
appreciated

I want to be known
I want to be remembered
as me

The me with flowers
wrapped him her hair
The me with a smile
that lights the room

Remember me
how you wish
just so long
as its not like this.

This is a poem wrote by a very amazing girl named Cheyenne. It was wrote in the last few hours of her life.

get away

I'm I the only one that sometimes just needs a break. And escape from everything. Kind of like a vacation. I dont know i guess its because sometimes i get this feeling of being unwanted and unneeded. No in a bad way well sometimes but most of the time its more like i feel like if i were to just disappear for a bit everyone i care about would be okay until i got back. Like I'm not a really big part of their lives.

Its these times when i feel like this that i wish i could drive. I would just go places with no plan or anything. Find new things, see new  stuff that inspires me but mostly get away and just be...on my own.

I just need an escape , a change of scene, something anything I'm just tired of looking at the same things

So this morning....

So this morning i was in my science class and in there there is this kid. He's kind of short and fat and does not look old enough to be in high school. Today people were being so mean to him. Throwing stuff at him, calling him names, etc. The whole time i just kept telling him to ignore them and they were immature and stupid. But then i realized that he shouldn't have to ignore it, because it shouldn't happen. I mean seriously! We are young adults, We shouldn't be treating each other this way!

Now i wish i had of said something. Stood up for him. Told those people how immature and ignorant they are. To treat someone, another human being like that, you have some serious problems.

Picture- GIF from Jake miller "A Million Lives" Music video

sad, sweet poetry

"They asked me to describe sadness in three words.
I could say empty,
desolate,
unloved,
and no matter how true they were,
I didn't say them.
"He forgot me, They forgot me"
(And i think i did too)"

I was on tumblr last night and saw this. A girl posted a bunch of her sisters poems and stories after she died last year. According to her this one is kind of telling how her sister started to developed depression. Kind of telling why and who caused it. She didn't tell the whole story and that's okay its Private but i just thought this poem was very beautiful.

beautiful

So i have come to a conclusion Everything and i mean everything has beauty. Every person, every animal, Everything. Its just that some people are visually challenged. so say you are a girl that has very low self esteem and an idiot guy tells you your ugly. Hes not even close to right he's just too dim to see how much you shine. And as for you already thinking you are less well my dear, you are a butterfly. You are just so amazing and beautiful but cant see it just like how butterflies cant see their wings.
You just don't know and neither do they. And thats okay. It's okay to be a butterfly some times.

Hold on to this lullaby.

Yeah yeah i know. "This is a love song" "Why do you post songs all the time?"
Well You see. Music really helps me feel better and it does the same for alot of other people. It helps even more when a song really describes the situation youre in. Long story short i just really like music.

I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, "I'll never let you go"
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window, darling,
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold on to this lullaby
Even when music's gone
Gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh
La La (La La)
La La (La La)
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh
La La (La La)

Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...

All to blame

Everyone. And i mean everyone has bullied or been bullied. Even i have picked on someone. But there are different stages, there's the kind where you mean to hurt someone, the kind where joking with a friend goes to far and the kind where its behind someones back. Most of mine are friends that jokes went too far and maybe someone made me mad so i said something behind there back.

Long story short we are all to blame. Every last one of us. Even if they say they don't, trust me...they do.

Only you

This is kind of an annoying song and kind of girly and childish but it has some really good lines it it.

A girl in the playground
Making a sweet sound
Living with no one to please!
A fish in the ocean
River in motion
They're living wild and free!

You've got one life, so go live it
Game's on so go win it
Breaking your doubts on the way!
You've got something to believe in,
But time waits for no feeling!
Don't stop, it's yours to take!

Cause it's you, only you, only you
Sing like you know it's true!
Only you can decide if you see this through
Cause you can do anything
You can do anything!
Da da da da dadada
Da da da da dadada

A lawyer, a teacher, a girlfriend, a preacher
Thinking that they were to blame!
There's no need for hiding
Cause when we stop fighting
Turns out we're all just the same!

You've got one life, so go live it
Game's on so go win it
Breaking your doubts on the way!
You've got something to believe in,
But time waits for no feeling!
Don't stop, it's yours to take!

(x2)
Cause it's you, only you, only you
Sing like you know it's true!
Only you can decide if you see this through
Cause you can do anything
You can do anything!
Yeah you can do anything
Oh, oh, oh yeah you can do anything!

Be a butterfly

The butterfly project...I heard of this about a year ago. Its this thing where instead of hurting yourself you make a butterfly. You can draw it cut it out , color it whatever you want. Then most people that I've seen write what was wrong on the back of it. It doesn't matter what your butterfly looks like or how big it is. You decide and make it your own, just so long at you are not hurting yourself. That's the whole purpose. You are making something beautiful instead of destructing.
The reason its butterflies and not like a llama or something is because butterflies are so beautiful but they cant see it....most people are like that too.

Dream on.

We are all born  to do or be something.
A doctor,
   A teacher,
        An actor
             Or maybe just the baggier at Wal-mart.

 But we all have something to do and we all have dreams. Sometimes a dream is all that keeps me going. I want to be a director and no matter how down i get i always think about accomplishing my dream and showing all the people that didn't believe in me or told me i couldn't do it that if you try you shall succeed. I've even been bullied over my dream but that was last year. Any way my point is everyone has a dream and you might get put down for it but think how amazing it would feel to make it and look back and see all those hates have fallen behind.

So long story short...its okay to dream. Just so long as you try and chase them.

Overused

People over use stuff. They mainstream it and intemperate it.

Anchors. If you know me i draw anchors all the time. I'm getting a tattoo of one. But mostly its a symbol of me and who i am. It reminds me to hold on keep going. To be strong like an anchor but not to sink like they do.

I don't know maybe I'm over react but things are used for a reason, and when people that don't really care or understand use and overuse them it ticks me off. Kind of like the girls that hurt themselves for justin bieber.

hang in there :)

"hang in there little fighter, things will get a little brighter" This is my qoute for today. My not really having the best day and no it's not just because school started back. I just have days where i think too much. I think about the past, present and future. I over think the simple things. Question everything i do. But mostly i just feel bad for myself. I knoww i shouldn't but i do. It happens to the best of us. We all have our bad days.